State of the Union 2011 - Top Ten List

State of the Union 2011 - FACT CHECK: Obama and his imbalanced ledger

1) I want to "redouble" what the stimulus did... but simultaneously freeze spending.
2) I'm now totally *against* earmarks, after I was totally *for* earmarks.
3) Let me be clear. I'm willing to enact tort reform during my speeches, but unwilling to enact tort reform when it comes to actually enacting tort reform.
4) We must do what the Fiscal Commission proposed to reduce the deficit...... by not doing anything like what the Fiscal Commission proposed to reduce the deficit. Thank you to the members of this valuable group for sharing this plan --- that nobody read, no one wants to hear about, and which only potentially-suicidal politicians would want to follow --- at a few million dollars of taxpayer cost.
5) Social Security: 'Reduce benefits? No. Increase retirement age? No. Well... I'm sh-- out of ideas!'
6) Iran hasn't responded to sanctions, but my peeps in the White House told the NYT they sure as heck responded to the Stuxnet virus. Oh... wait, did I say that!? *AHEM* Let me be clear, that totally wasn't us! But still, I apologize on behalf of the American people. I don't know why I'm apologizing, but it usually makes me feel better. Quick... someone cue McCain for a cover version of "Bomb-bomb-bomb, bomb-bomb Iran (2008)."
‎7) Don't fear India and China --- they're partners for American innovation! When they steal our designs, infringe on our patents or reverse engineer our products and make them cheaper, people around the world will *still* buy American... because... it's... wait.... Are you sure about this, TelePrompTer? OK... if you say so!
8) Let me be clear. Jobs *will* come back to Main Street. When companies can't buy any more machines that do the work of five people --- without payroll tax, no Social Security tax, no HR costs, no health care coverage mandate.... Scratch that. Let me be clear. Jobs will *not* be coming back to Main Street, at least as long as I'm president around here!
9) Everybody gets a car! Everybody gets a car! Everybody gets a car!
10) I'm not recommending for every future president that they take a shellacking like I'm going to in 2012.

(photo © Ricky Carioti / The Washington Post)

The Snowstorm That Wasn't There

Woke up to a phone call at 4:00 this morning from a woman who reported that her road had not been plowed, and she couldn't get out of her driveway to get to work. As the de facto assistant road chairman for our lake association, this is upsetting. Until we look out the door and see... one inch of snow. (Just to make a due reference, more western parts of Connecticut got from 5 inches to a foot of snow.)

The snowplow contract calls for plowing when there is "in excess of 2 inches of accumulated snow in a single storm event." That's the same wording as it's been for time out of mind since this the lake association was formed about 60 years ago. So, the plow guy didn't even need to be out there for this... and yet, he was plowing the roads at 6 a.m.

Have half a mind to call this woman at 3 a.m. tomorrow and remind her that in the last two years, she hasn't paid her association dues (totaling $250) that pay for snowplowing. I have another half a mind to resign and let someone else do this thankless job where two or three people make 98 percent of the complaints, and in the words of Sherlock Holmes, we have to "make bricks without clay." Consider the roads budget of $13,000... of which, the lowest of seven plowing bids was $11,000 for the season. That's just plowing. It does not include sanding to prevent icing. There are 4 dirt/gravel roads that need twice-yearly grading. Add it all up, and this association may just barely get by with the current state of things, if we don't have a bad winter.

I have no problem being woken up by people with legitimate problems that we have volunteered to administrate --- or grab a 22" chainsaw --- to achieve the working order of 3 miles of roads. We go to monthly meetings, conduct bidding processes, and make a list of priorities for road repairs, short- and long-term. I am willing to devote some of my free time to ensure that people can travel safely. I do have a problem with idiots waking us up because they're too stupid to know how to drive in an inch of snow.

This is New England! There are certain realities that you need to accept when living here. Among them:
     • There is no process whereby snow can be removed as soon as it touches the ground.
     • 4x4 / Four Wheel Drive / All Wheel Drive is damn near a necessity
     • Connecticut Yankees don't take kindly to people who regularly bitch and moan about the after-effects of Acts
       of God being anything less than perfect. Most of the time in snow removal --- or most other processes ---
       conditions have to be left at "good enough."
     • Most things in life are covered by the Project Triangle, which can be summed up with the phrase, "Good. Cheap.
       Fast. Pick two." Snow-plowing is no exception.