26 July 2011

"Summer has set in with its usual severity." 
--- Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Tonight, for the second time this summer, I drove home during during a tornado watch and an accompanying downpour. There's nothing that quite excites the senses as the possibility of peril. I was in a rather unprotected spot when the call came from a family member that on the weather report, there were some Doppler super-cells of oranges, reds and purples headed right toward where I was. So, I grabbed a few things and took off toward home where I could stay in the basement. Well, it started pouring to beat anything just as I pulled into the driveway --- I could see a virtual river of surface water cascading down the boat launch next to our property. Staying in the car, I comforted Ruff with a few "It's OK!" phrases and a hand on his shoulder. I wanted to wait until the rain tapered a bit so we didn't get soaked to the bone. That ended up being about 15 minutes, during which I witnessed my garden trellis, holding my pole beans and cucumbers, list to the side. So, as the storm passed I got out and tried to reset it into the ground a bit (when I installed it, I had pounded the legs into the ground about 9 inches) and used a pry bar to keep it propped up. I'll take a look at it tomorrow morning, and see if the tomato cages need any reinforcing as well. That first severe summer storm, they pop out of the ground and it's a devil of a time trying to get them to get a secure bite of earth again. Happy to report that we made it through safe and sound.

24 July 2011

Huntress Diana


This statute, called the Huntress Diana (or simply Diana) by Augustus Saint-Gaudens has been a favorite of mine for some time. It has such great contours, elegant form and is technically perfect. When I first saw this on a documentary about the artist, my attention was captivated.

There have been a lot of artists who created busts and statues to war heroes that exist as a physical reminder on their particular spot of remembrance. I am acquainted with the sculptor of the Husky statue outside of Gampel Pavillion at the UConn campus, and before every exam I had during my matriculation there, I rubbed its nose for luck. Indeed, that was a big part of the commission --- it's a congregating spot where people stride, touch and hold up their diplomas in front of it. It was a creation of college tradition. Nothing wrong with that.

But, when you look at his body of work, Saint-Gaudens had such a way with metal. I don't mean to blow smoke, but he could fill lifeless earth elements with reverent emotion. Whether it was the form of Diana; a tangible representation of the seclusion of depression in the Adams Memorial; or the glory, the diversity and a weird concomitant sense of anonymity in the Shaw Memorial as the eyes are first drawn to the long rifles being held over-shoulder as a dominant vertical, the massive horse as the dominant horizontal, the angel overhead... then the faces of the men. They demand the respect, but not the humbleness that many statues seek to impose. I think that's what makes such a difference for me, especially in these highlighted pieces.

22 July 2011

It's so hot....


 With the temperature here in the mid-90°s for the past two days (including a so-called heat index of 115°F today) and another in store for tomorrow, I thought I'd share a collection of Johnny Carson's "It's so hot..." quips. Some are straight from him, some gleaned from the web and some originated from and/or reworked by yours truly:

It's so hot... Satan went home until it cools off.
It's so hot... Rosie O’Donnell is selling shade.
It's so hot... Burger King is saying, "If you want it your way... cook it yourself!"
It's so hot... I saw a funeral procession pull through a Dairy Queen!
It's so hot... I saw two fire hydrants fighting over a dog.
It's so hot... the ice cream man is now only selling milkshakes.
It's so hot... every gay person who's ever come out of the closet has gone back in.
It's so hot... L.A. Dodgers fans were seen removing the paper bags from over their heads.
It's so hot... you've been getting hot flashes --- and you're a man!
It's so hot... Paris Hilton has sworn off making sex tapes until we get a cool snap.
It's so hot... I saw a dog chasing a cat --- and they were both walking.
It's so hot... Al Sharpton came over to swim at Don Imus's pool party.
It's so hot... people driving their Mustangs with the top down and seat belts on have "FORD" branded into their hips.
It's so hot... cows are giving evaporated milk.
It's so hot... digital thermometers have a reading of “Are you friggin' kidding me!!?”
It's so hot... birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
It's so hot... you've experienced condensation on your rear end from the hot water in the toilet bowl.
It’s so hot... when you wear wrinkled clothes outside, they get steam-pressed.
It's so hot... chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
It's so hot... straight construction workers are wolf-whistling at the Poland Springs delivery man as he walks by.
It’s so hot... even the sun is looking for some shade.
It’s so hot... not only can you fry an egg on a sidewalk --- you can cook hash browns to go with it.
It's so hot... the retirement center is having a wet T-shirt contest.
It's so hot... Jehovah's Witnesses started tele-marketing.
It's so hot... habanero peppers are looking for some buttermilk to bathe in.
It's so hot... fish are sweating.
It's so hot... hot water comes out of both taps.
It's so hot... I saw a turkey praying for Thanksgiving.
It's so hot... you need a spatula to remove your clothing.
It's so hot... your kids' braces are giving them third-degree burns on their lips.
It's so hot... the strawberries are ripe and the cab drivers are riper.
It's so hot... Dick Cheney asked to be water-boarded.
It's so hot... I saw a robin dipping his worm in a birdbath.
It's so hot... the ducks on the lake come in "original recipe" and "extra crispy."
It's so hot... your car overheats before you start to drive it.
It's so hot... I just saw a squirrel trying to cool off his nuts.

And it's so hot...

How hot is it?

It is *so* hot... Democrats are taking their hands out of your pockets to fan themselves.

(Photo illustration originated from screened.com and altered to B&W.)